Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I wear drunk well.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
