Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
