You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
