he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
