I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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