i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
