it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
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