yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
