Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Randomize
