I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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