i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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