So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
