in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I came so hard my ears popped.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
