...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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