MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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