He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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