Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
operation harelip BJ is a go
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
