sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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