It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
