i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize