dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
