Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Did I show you my penis last night?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
