We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
