Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
