guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
