I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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