Sry I called you an 8
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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