Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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