Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
NoShamevember. You game?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
