Barsexuality is the new black.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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