sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you traded sex for a burrito?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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