dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
