im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
