I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
accomplished twins. life is a go
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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