Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
