My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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