is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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