ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
