Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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