Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Pants are for mortals
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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