My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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