i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
