why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
