At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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