Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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