Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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