oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
