Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize