OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
