dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
