you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize