He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
