I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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