Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
