sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I have fence marks all over my body
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
