just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize