dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
