Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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