I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
