What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
